Jesu, juva
One night years ago God gave me this special dream. Not the kind that fades when you open your eyes. I knew upon awakening, this one was going to be burned into my heart and mind. Regardless of the time that’s past since, I can always see it afresh, like a movie recorded to DVR.
I’m sharing it because I believe it’s not meant just for me. It’s the story of every man who has been beaten down and is being called to stand up and fight.
THE WALK OF SHAME
In the dream, I’m nine or ten years old. I live in a small white house two blocks from school. Every morning, I step off the porch and see the school in the distance. My stomach tightens. I know what’s coming.
At the stop sign before the school, there’s always a group of older boys. Three to six of them. Waiting.
Sometimes I see another kid ahead of me on the sidewalk. I watch from a distance as they surround him. They rip up whatever he’s carrying. They shove him to the ground. They beat him until he can scramble to his feet and run.
Then it’s my turn.
I know every feeling before it happens. The fists hitting my body. The dirt and grass stains on my clothes. The shame burning hotter than the physical pain. The helplessness.
This isn’t a single punch. This is a sustained beating. Multiple attackers. Fists, kicks to the ribs, thrown to the ground. I can’t fight back. There’s no escape until they decide they’re done. Then I run.
THE DANGER THAT LINGERS.
The beating doesn’t end when I reach the school doors. It follows me all day.
I sit in class, body aching, while the teacher talks. But I can’t focus. All I can think about is my powerlessness. My inability to protect myself. The shame of being weak.
The pain compounds. Yesterday’s wounds don’t heal before tomorrow’s beating arrives. It builds. By Friday, I’m a walking mass of hurt, counting the hours until I can hide inside the safety of home for the weekend.
This is what repeated defeat does. It doesn’t just hurt your body. It destroys your mind. It makes you believe you’ll always be a victim.
THE WARRIOR’S DREAM
But in the middle of the pain, something else starts to grow. A daydream. A vision of who I could become.
I imagine myself bigger. Stronger. Trained. Skilled at fighting. I see myself walking to school and the bullies stepping aside because they know what I’ve become.
Yes, part of me wants payback. I won’t lie about that. But there’s something deeper. Something better.
I dream of standing between the weak and their attackers.
I see myself trained by a Master Warrior whose skills are unmatched by any enemy. I imagine being in the right place at the right time to protect those who can’t protect themselves. I dream of having a life filled with purpose, ending each day with memories of standing in the gap for others.
That’s the man I want to become.
THE CALL TO TRAIN
My life’s goal is to become a strong man. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. A real man among real men, bonded as brothers in the same cause. A man trained and ready to take on the enemy’s attacks against myself, my family, my warrior brothers, and those trapped in the enemy’s grip, begging for rescue.
I want to stand before any enemy with bold confidence in my training and my Trainer, whose skills are unmatchable. I want to be a willing vessel for Him to flow through.
But let me be clear about what “willing vessel” means.
It does NOT mean sitting on the couch waiting for a call. That’s the furthest thing from the truth.
We who are called are students. Trainees. War machines in the making. We’re training for battles against an enemy whose skills, tactics, and knowledge are wildly underestimated. An enemy who is expert at finding the weak spots in our lives and planting thoughts of defeat and temptation.
WAKE UP READY
We must wake up every single day ready for training. Listening for the Master’s voice and direction, often whispered to our spirit. We must stay in a receptive frame of mind to hear it.
If you’re not receptive and ready, you’ll miss it. And missing those cues from the Trainer of all elite spiritual warriors means you won’t be at the right place at the right time, properly prepared and equipped for the mission ahead.
When another brother or sister in Christ needs desperate help to overcome the grip of Satan and his demons, God calls men like us to stand in the gap.
YOU NEVER FIGHT ALONE
We cannot do this alone. Believing that any victory is because of our abilities alone is a terrible mistake. Your growth stops the moment you believe that lie.
We NEVER fight alone. Our example, leader, and master trainer is Jesus Christ. He is the power, the skill set, the confidence, the tactical knowledge needed to defeat every enemy, even Satan himself.
When we’re called to stand in the gap, to lock shields with our warrior brothers, giving all we are to His service, His will, His direction, we are NEVER alone. Christ uses our well-trained bodies, minds, and hearts as vessels. We strive each day to learn from His Word, learn from the brothers He speaks through, and take advantage of every resource to grow in Him.
We live not for peace in our own lives, but to bring His peace to others in desperate need.
COUNT THE COST
This requires using every resource we have to learn from the Master how to live the Christ-like life He’s called us to. This often means pain and suffering.
As elite warriors of Christ, we are the enemy’s worst threat. Satan will attack you, me, and everyone we love in every way possible. You have to understand and accept that you’ve signed up for a life of struggle potentially far beyond those around you.
Accept this call. Sign up for training. Commit everything to what Christ can teach you through His Holy Spirit. You will stand out from the average Christian man today. You will feel rejected in some church circles that focus on material blessings instead of preparing their flock for real battles.
His perfect will and plan won’t come from the couch. It won’t come from attending church once a week and being a “nice guy.” It comes from daily training, daily surrender, daily readiness for whatever mission He assigns.
MY JOURNEY FROM DEFEAT TO PURPOSE
This dream spoke to me about my own life journey. The traumatic experiences I’ve endured. The defeats. The mental and spiritual beatings that destroyed my confidence. The years I believed I could never effectively serve in ministry again. Never achieve what I once was in the workplace. Never be the outdoorsman I thought would always bring me happiness.
But now I’m understanding: All of it, even that terrible auto accident that has robbed me of so much physically and cognitively, was, and is today, part of God’s divine training course.
God has recently sparked an ember in my heart that I thought was dead. For years I’ve been a lone wolf, trying to recover and rebuild on my own, unable to find loyal brothers who would have my back. Men who truly cared and wanted to include me in their lives.
I’m trusting God for them. One by one.
I ACCEPT THE CALL
I feel a calling to once again be a man Christ can depend on when He needs someone to stand for others in need. To daily train physically, mentally, and spiritually. To fully submit to the Master’s words and directions.
I will no longer be that young boy who dreaded the walk to school.
I will no longer accept jobs that destroy my health with overwhelming stress.
I will no longer allow devastating events to reduce me to rubble, merely surviving and trying to recover on my own.
I accept the call, Lord.
I’m applying for Your training through the men of God You place in my path. Men who can help me grow and become an effective spiritual warrior alongside them. Our life purpose is to prepare, train, and live ready for any battle it takes to steal any child of Yours from the enemy and return them to You.
THE TRUTH ABOUT QUALIFICATION
I cannot imagine myself at this stage of life being that man. But I know if God calls me, He will equip me for the challenge.
God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.
I’m not promised deliverance from unfortunate circumstances. Even Christ cried out for deliverance but ended with “Nevertheless, not My will but Yours.” He wasn’t spared from what lay ahead.
But I DO know God can use me right where I’m at. I can hope to grow and overcome current conditions if it’s within His will. But like Christ, I say:
Nevertheless, Thy will be done in me, Father. I give You all I am. Use me in any condition I find myself in for any mission You believe me qualified for.
YOUR CALL
Maybe you’ve been beaten down. Maybe you’re still that kid on the sidewalk, dreading the walk to school. Maybe you’ve lost confidence that you too could ever be used in ministry again.
Brother, those beatings were preparation. That defeat was training. God is forging you into a warrior who understands what it means to stand in the gap because you know what it’s like to need someone to stand for you.
The question is: Will you accept the call?
Will you wake up ready for training? Will you find your brothers and lock shields? Will you submit to the Master’s training and become the warrior He’s calling you to be?
The victim becomes the warrior. The beaten becomes the protector. The weak becomes the strong.
Not by your strength. By His.
Blane
SDG
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