Jesu, juva
How a Christian Man Conducts Himself
“Manners maketh man” comes from William Horman’s 1519 book Vulgaria. As headmaster of Eton School in England, he taught this simple truth: good manners define a man.
Manners apply to how you speak, your tone of voice, your gestures, and your actions. They show respect for God by showing respect for people made in His image.
Here’s what a modern Christian man needs to know:
RESPECT
Be mindful of other human beings. Simple words carry weight.
Please
Use this in any request or question. It acknowledges you’re asking, not demanding.
Thank You
Express gratitude when someone does something for you. Say it. Write it. Mean it.
Excuse Me
When someone is speaking and you need to interrupt, say excuse me. Use it to grab attention politely or ask someone to repeat themselves. If you bump into someone, let them know it was unintentional.
YOUR WORDS
Be impeccable with your word. Your words are powerful. Only say what you mean. Mean everything you say.
Gossip
Don’t talk about people behind their backs. We all fall into this. It’s shameful. As Christian men, we should be committed to speaking truth directly or staying silent.
Criticism
Never criticize in public. Never shame someone in front of others. If criticism is necessary, do it in private. Start with affirmation. Address the issue honestly. End on a positive note showing you value the relationship. This is the sandwich approach.
PHYSICAL INTERACTION
Introductions
When you meet someone, introduce yourself. Shake their hand or fist bump, whichever feels appropriate. Make sure you know their name and they know yours.
Eye Contact
If someone is speaking to you, give them eye contact. It’s a clear sign you’re devoting your full attention to them. It shows respect.
Doors
Open and hold doors for others, especially for women. Yes, some may complain. Smile and know you’re not the problem. You’re showing respect, not superiority.
Giving Up Your Seat
On public transportation, give up your seat for pregnant women, elderly people, or anyone who looks exhausted.
Elevators
Let others enter or exit first when possible.
Welcoming Visitors
When someone visits your home for the first time, everyone in the household should come meet them. Introduce each family member. Greet them warmly and ask how they’re doing.
MEALS
Observe Customs
When invited to another’s home, watch and follow their customs. This is especially important with prayer before meals. If they pray, wait respectfully. If you’re hosting, pray yourself or ask your guest to pray. Keep it simple either way.
When to Eat
In small groups, wait until everyone is served. In larger groups, wait until about half are served. In very large gatherings, eat when your food arrives. Exception: wait for prayer or a toast if you know one is coming.
Napkin
Put your napkin on your lap. If it gets dirty, fold it and place it on the table to prevent stains on your clothing.
No Elbows on the Table
Period.
Chewing
Chew with your mouth closed. Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
Burping
Be silent if possible. If it slips out, say excuse me.
Going to the Bathroom
Say excuse me before standing. Push your chair back in.
HYGIENE
Coughing or Sneezing
Cover your mouth with your hand or the inside of your elbow.
Nose
Don’t pick your nose in public. Use a tissue or handkerchief. Every man should carry a clean handkerchief.
Ears
Don’t dig in your ears in public. Excuse yourself and go somewhere private. Wash your hands afterward.
Wash Your Hands
Always wash thoroughly after using the bathroom, before eating, or before handling food.
Nails
Don’t clip your nails in front of others. Do this in private where you can capture clippings and throw them in the trash.
Flossing
Don’t floss in public. Go to the bathroom. If at someone’s home, wrap the floss in tissue and dispose of it in the trash.
Hair
Don’t comb or brush your hair or beard in someone’s home where hair can fall on furniture or floor. Go to the bathroom and clean up any fallen hairs before leaving.
ATTENTION
Remember Names
When someone introduces themselves, listen carefully to how they pronounce their name. Repeat it back: “Nice to meet you, [name].” Use their name in conversation when possible. It helps you remember and shows them they matter.
Listen
Show genuine interest in what someone is saying. Even if they’re boring you. Even if you’ve heard it before. Even if you’d rather be elsewhere. Listen.
Your Phone
Keep your phone in your pocket. Never pull it out and lay it on the table between you and someone else. Put it on Do Not Disturb if you’re about to have a long conversation. Exception: if you’re expecting an important call. If you must take a call, excuse yourself, step away, and thank them for understanding when you return.
Clean Up
Before leaving anyone’s home or event, make sure you’ve cleaned up after yourself, your family, and your pets. Show responsibility and respect.
COMMUNICATIONS
Responding
Personal: It’s acceptable to wait until you’re free from your current conversation before responding to calls or texts. Business: Apologize, but take the call if it’s customer service related. Step away somewhere private.
Language
Keep conversation PG or PG-13 if there’s any chance a woman, child, or sensitive person is present. Among your band of brothers in private? There’s room for masculine freedom. Use wisdom. Don’t take it to extremes.
Privacy
Assume what’s being shared is private. If you’re on a call and need to use speakerphone around others, let the caller know first. Turn it off if the conversation turns private. When joining a group call, announce yourself. Before sharing someone’s information with a group via email, ask their permission.
Social Media
Never post personal drama online. Not church drama. Not family drama. Not business drama. It’s foolish, immature, and harmful. It will destroy respect among your brothers. Handle conflicts privately like a man.
WHY THIS MATTERS
Manners aren’t about being stuffy or religious. They’re about showing respect. And as Christian men, we’re called to honor others.
“Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10)
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up.” (Ephesians 4:29)
“Show proper respect to everyone.” (1 Peter 2:17)
Good manners aren’t weakness. They’re strength under control. They’re choosing to honor others even when it’s inconvenient. They’re reflecting Christ in everyday interactions.
The world is watching how Christian men conduct themselves. Your manners preach louder than your words.
Manners maketh the man. Be that man.
Blane
SDG
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